It takes two to Tango...and sometimes three to rebuild a relationship.

That is what I am here for. I help both individuals and couples heal their relationships. 

Rediscovering the spark and mutual affection in a relationship can only happen when the space to fully express yourself feels like a safe and open one. I provide an environment for couples in which both partners feel protected and seen.

Are you a pursuer or an avoider?  Click the arrow below to learn more.

“I said we should get professional help and see a therapist, but he isn’t interested.”

“He says he can't face it all, meaning he doesn't want to face his past. He has lived in denial, and I think he is afraid to confront issues from his childhood.”

Relationships can get stuck in powerful negative feedback loops. Many people are afraid to go into couple's therapy for a whole host of reasons, including a fear of confronting their own dysfunction in the relationship.  By working on your own understanding and awareness, I can help you shift your way of being with your partner.  Then you can become a catalyst for your partner to discover a new way of being, in relationship to you.  

Defending yourself only pushes your partner away.

Know what you really want in your relationship.  If your arguments often revolve around some need of yours to be right, then you might want to look at how close you really want to be.  Many of us consciously fear being abandoned, when the truth is that we are scared of emotional closeness.  

The way to feeling closer and more connected is through more separation.

Where many couples go wrong is in believing they have to think, be and feel like their partners.  If this is what you’re doing, however, you’re leaving no space for your own feelings and experience.  This can lead to feelings of suffocation, and the urge to disconnect and run away.  Part of learning how to be in a healthy relationship is to be able to honor your partner’s feelings and experience without taking responsibility for them – and even if you disagree with them.  His or her feelings aren’t necessarily about you, even if they seem to be.

Oftentimes couples are too intensely involved to see the forest for the trees.

I recently worked with a couple where the woman would cry and emotionally disconnect for an entire day whenever they had a heated argument.  The man perceived her as purposefully shutting him out, and would become very hurt and then enraged.  He thought she was actively shutting him out and punishing him for raising his voice.

Several sessions into their therapy, I was able to see the dynamic in action. So we explored her emotional memory to see what might be triggering this behavior. As it turned out, she was able to recall terribly frightening moments in her childhood, when her mother would ‘fly off into a rage, throw dishes and break things in the house.’  She recalls hiding with her brother in a closet, waiting for her mother’s rampages to end.  We realized that she was, in fact, having a traumatic reaction to her partner’s anger and raised voice, and literally “disappearing” from herself.

Once he realized the effect he was having on her, he was able to change the way he spoke to her when he was upset; in return, she was able to stay in the room and be present.  During our therapy together, he learned to understand that her times of disconnect were not about him, but about her own need for safety. She, on the other hand, began to understand that his anger was often just an expression of deep hurt and fear of abandonment, not because of anything she was doing wrong.

Marriage is a sacred bond between two people.

We are innately and biologically social creatures. So when emotional and physical needs go unmet, the marital bond is threatened. Just like the Tango, it takes two people to make a marriage work.  It’s critical that you take the time to meet your partner’s needs -- and communicate your own.

Open communication and good intentions lie at the heart of all successful partnerships.

I will teach both of you how to hear the other’s feelings and conflicts without anger or argument.  Learning how to receive each other’s feelings and experience requires special intention, curiosity and openness.  In the first stages of the healing process, it’s very easy for a couple to feel defensive, hurt or anxious. But under the guidance of a good couples’ therapist, both partners have the opportunity to be heard and understood in a safe environment.

Conflicts can easily be transformed from potentially explosive and alienating episodes into opportunities for connection and understanding.

How do you restore trust that has been lost?

Many events can threaten a relationship. Your partner feels like his physical needs aren’t being met and ends up having an affair; your wife is frustrated by her need for emotional closeness and finds satisfaction in an online relationship with another man. The feelings of betrayal on discovering a secret relationship can overwhelm any hope you have of rekindling the love you and your partner once had.

All relationships require a certain amount of attention and care; cultivating a lasting one is like raising a baby. It must be fed, bathed and nurtured in order to grow and thrive.  In much the same way, relationships require loving care for love to continue to grow and evolve. In couples counseling, I will teach you the way to nurture your relationship and heal old wounds that interfere with you feeling the sweetness at the core of all loving relationships.

The act of repairing a relationship requires the ability to know yourself emotionally, so that you can clearly communicate your feelings to your partner. Being able to talk about difficult issues and obstacles in your relationship can only happen when both individuals let go of their need to be right.  Just because your significant other experiences you as cold and mean doesn’t mean you are. Part of the healing process is discovering your old templates for being in a relationship, and understanding how they have been at play. 

Maybe your partner has been unfaithful.

You feel deeply hurt, angry and rejected.  How could he betray your trust and bring such pain and humiliation into your life?  You are wondering whether you’ll ever be able to feel safe with him again.  At this point, you aren’t sure you want to save the marriage, and are wondering whether to even bother with couples therapy.

When one partner strays, it’s important to explore what went wrong in the relationship before the betrayal occurred. Relationships can rebound from infidelity, but only if both individuals are committed to making the relationship succeed. 

Sometimes it takes a few sessions of counseling to figure out whether or not both partners want to repair the bond.  With the help of a trained relationship therapist, a couple can gain clarity and move past the hurt and shame.  Regardless of whether you decide to stay together or separate, a crisis of this kind can be an opportunity for growth and emotional evolution.  The goal of treatment is to create an environment of awareness so that the same mistakes aren’t repeated.

More than 50 percent of men who cheat don’t do it for the sex.  The reason most often given is that they felt emotionally disconnected, lonely and unappreciated.  Men are much more insecure than they often appear to be, and when they don’t feel appreciated or cared for, they are more likely to look outside their marriage or relationship for affirmation of their goodness and value.

When your relationship is broken, your body and your mind can take the brunt of it.

Our evolutionary survival stems from the idea that there is safety in our tribal communities.  So when a marriage breaks down, the tension and drama often manifests itself in disease or illness.  When we are stressed out, our immune systems become compromised. 

Rediscovering harmony and love is not just a Hallmark card moment, but a matter of survival.  Stress disrupts our biological well-being as well as our emotional equilibrium. Not dealing with a problematic relationship can lead to very serious health problems for everyone involved.

I will teach you to:

• Be able to disagree without things getting ugly.


• Tap into your ability to ask for what you want, without shame or fear.


• Set limits with your partner from a place of self-love, not fear or anger.


• Listen and support your partner, even when their truth doesn’t match your experience.


• Express appreciation for the goodness your partner does have to offer, even when you feel hurt and disappointed.


• Accept your partner’s feelings of hurt and anger without taking responsibility for them.


• Open your heart to the possibility of repairing your relationship.


• Find the sweetness that fuels love and closeness.


• Be the catalyst for your partner’s emotional evolution within your relationship.

If you have never experienced a good example of a healthy relationship, then you probably never developed the basic skills for relating.

Many unsuccessful relationships go on for years and years, especially when children are involved.  So much focus and energy goes into raising children, that a relationship’s issues might never be discussed, much less solved.  They may come up from time to time, but rather than being addressed, they slip out of direct consciousness only to re-surface during times of stress.

I will help teach you the basic skill-set for having a successful relationship. Issues can be explored in a safe environment during therapy sessions, and you will be given clear communication techniques to immediately help you communicate better once you leave the session.

As a therapist, I view therapy as a participatory process.  As the client, you are involved in the treatment plan and the evaluation of your progress. Your sense of self-determination and guidance will be honored and encouraged throughout your sessions.

You want to repair your relationship, recognize your own needs and perhaps make some decisions. I am here to help you.