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When driving there’s an area next and behind you in your rearview mirror that you cannot see. It is dangerous, as you run the risk of turning into a car in your blindspot. Sometimes we fall into the same danger in the way we tend to repeat patterns in our relationships.
A relational blindspot is a way of being in relationships that is
governed by very old patterns from early relationships. If you find
yourself continuing to repeat the same dynamics in relationship after
relationship, and failing to maintain a loving connection, then you
have a relational blindspot. While the danger may not be of a physical
nature (though it can be in the case of domestic violence), the result
is often a feeling of alienation and disconnection, not only from others,
but also from yourself. The nature of your earliest relationships will
color the way you see the world and the way you experience others and
yourself. The child of a narcissistic parent lacks a certain
self-awareness because he spent much of his childhood reading the
parent’s moods and opinions and tailoring himself in the image of
the other, the omnipotent parent. In this case, the task in therapy is
to help one carve out their identity as separate and competent individuals. In order for this to happen, much of the
negative internalizations from early relationships need to be explored
and understood before they can be transcended.
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