Reality is subjective and created by a combination of your current beliefs and past relationships and experiences.  We only experience absolute reality about 20% of our waking lives. This has great implications for how we understand our significant others and friends.

 

The other 80% of the time we are constructing our realities from the inside out.  Your attitude toward yourself, the one that has been internalized from a lifetime of relationships becomes projected externally and experienced as reality.  If you were poorly treated or disrespected as a child, you will find yourself in this masochistic position with friends and parteners.  From this perspective, the best way to improve your relationships with others is to heal your own core wounds and feelings about yourself.  Think about what this means as far as your relationships are concerned.  When you experience your friend or partner in a negative way, take a look at how your experience of this person might reflect earlier relationships with primary caretakers.  If you are unable to trust a loved one and feel safe in the relationship, your inability to trust may be related to early relationships that color your current experience.  Another possibility is that you might find yourself attracted to people that affirm your beliefs and feelings that people cannot be trusted in the first place.